A podcast by Renae and I LISTEN AND COMMENT

Fyi it is sorta long don't listen to all of it if you aint got time!

Kid's view on LOVE

One of my favorite albums is the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, not only for the musical and lyrical content, but the interludes. A teacher asks a bunch of youth what they think about love, and children know a lot about love, beyond their years, they just don't know it.

Ryan and I have been experiencing a lot during this season, it's been a maturing process to say the least. We're learning what battles to fight, what battles to walk away from, timing, submission, all of that good stuff. In a moment of reflection, I told my 4th grade students at work, "When you fall love, it's a lot of hard work and compromise," and one student chimed in, "And a lot of crying sometimes too." I chuckled at that statement, because I tend to be the cryer in the relationship, and sometimes the tears are necessary, and totally unneccesary. But I thought to myself, "I wonder what her parent's relationship is like in order for her to say that."

I asked another student about his parents. He told me that his mother doesn't work, but she helps out others when planning parties. I then asked him, "What is your dad's job?" He said, "I don't know, he's relaxing in Mexico." I had no idea he was growing up without a father in his home, I thought about how that will affect him, and I thought about how hard it must be for his mother.

Another student of mine doesn't live with her parents, she is being raised by her grandparent's with her cousin's. Her mom had a new born baby and she sees her mom and gets to spend time with her every two weeks. Her mom came to pick her up from the after-school program for a little while and after spending time with her mom, who she doesn't live with, she came up to me and said, "Miss Renae, my mom and dad don't fight anymore." I thought to myself, "What does that mean to a 4th grade girl who doesn't even live with her parents?"

Love is...who knows what it is, I feel like it's things like trust and communication and patience and kindness and everything in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 wrapped into one. I guess all I'm trying to say is, situations are complicated when love is.

Weaknesses

Here's a list of some of mine, weaknesses that I allow to be weakness.

-Hershey's Kisses with almonds: I can snack on these for days.

-Hot Cheetos, Hot Cheeto Puffs: It never fails, when a kid offers me some at work, I must give in!

-Jennifer Lopez: I've actually watched Monster-in-Law twice in a row on Oxygen, her movies are terribly mediocre, yet delightfully addicting.

-America's Next Top Model: I think I like this show so much because I get to see the process, and yes, I've watched and re-watched episodes I've already seen before.

-Infomercials: But not for the popular stuff, not for Zumba or Proactiv but Hair removers, Revo Stylers, Restore 4, haha, :)

-Strawberry Milk: It reminds me of my adolescence with my grandparents, it's more of a memory connection type of thing for me.

-Santana's Greatest Hits CD: Duh, need I explain more?

-People's impressions: I always ask Patrick Ingram to do his impression of a crack head, I always ask Ryan to imitate some of our most awkward situations, I always ask my dad to imitate Rocky Balboa, I love seeing people re-inact people.

-Blue Mascara: I started this trend wenches. And though I have not purchased any for about 6 months, blue is my color, and I don't mind wearing it out.

-Bread: Ryan's family calls me the bread-mister. Whether it be garlic or french, I'm always hustlin' for an extra piece.

-Percussion breakdowns: Whether at church or at a concert, I automatically feel "Latina" when the conguero or timbalero breaks it down.

-Pucheros: For those of you who don't know, it's pouting or saying things like, "I tiiiired" with puppy eyes and pouty lips, all Ryan has to do is say "I tiiired" like that and I'm melting like candle wax.

-Elderly and charming Latino men: Professor Matallana, Professor Sempere, Antonio Banderas, these dudes be swaggin' all day. Their voices and their charms are undeniable.

-Victory dances: Whether it's a salsa step after a goal or running around with wings after a three pointer, I love to see people feel themselves.

-Lauryn Hill: Fugees through various mixtapes, that's my dude. I love her voice and I love her vibe.

-When I'm called "Reina": I am a queen, the majority of my mom's family calls me this, but every now and then, when I'm called "Raindrops" or "Brooklyn" or "Ray", I smile and get all fuzzy inside.

-Stuffed animals: I tried to diagnose myself, I think it's called essentialism, but basically, I love my stuffed animals. My Donald Duck, my Snoopy, my Curious George, I hold them like babies and kiss them. Be creeped out if you want, but I never had any younger siblings or dogs or anything, I always had birds.

(I really don't want to start my homework, but I can't think of any more, so it likes like I'll have to start in t-minus 5...4...3...2...1.

Free Write

Getting out of bed can be a hard task, but once you get used to the initial coldness, you're fine, it all starts with removing yourself from the bed.

Being productive over break feels really good. Waking up early really does mean that the early bird gets the first worm.

All of the celebrities are taking my name ideas, I want to name a daughter Brooklyn and have Azul as a middle name for another child. But, everyone and their mom in Hollywood has named their child Brooklyn and Beyonce named her baby girl Blue. And, I'm not having children anytime soon. So, it looks like I'm stuck. :)

Being in a relationship is humbling, and I realize that you have to LET YOURSELF BE LOVED. It isn't easy when you're always on defense/survival mode, I have to pray daily, it's humbling, my mindset has shifted and shifted and will continue to shift.

I go hard in the paint when I play Crash Bandicoot. That's my game, and I always go HAM!!! I play sporadically because the PlayStation is at Ryan's house but I'm on a mission to get as many gems as possible, and I need five more crystals. And I hate the boss levels or the levels in between.

I feel like I might have some salicylate sensitivity. They say some allergens and sensitivities develop later on in life.

I've always enjoyed watching Basketball, but even more now since Ry is a Warrior's fan. I know the player's names and numbers, but I can't bring myself to be a Warrior's fan. I just can't. I don't know why. I like my home, but I've always liked Southern California teams, except for the Sharks.

And let me say, 2012 is going to be a great year of change in so many areas. "Holla, ain't no stoppin' me!" (Missy Elliot voice).