Snapshot back into my first year of college: I went from being a Magna Cum Laude/AP Literature and AP Calculus passing high school Senior, to a college Freshman struggling with a break-up and with the harsh reality of two failed classes. I literally thought to myself, "What the heck happened here?"
Mexican-American Studies had saved my life, and also my GPA. It's true, when you study what you love, your grades reflect that. My opinion is, if you're paying for an education, it might as well be in something that you're interested in. Anyways, in my ethnic studies classes, the lies I was taught for years were demystified in a matter of months and I grew a pride in my culture that was already there, but now I was becoming educated on my history, on the literature, and I fell in love with myself as a WOMAN OF COLOR. Not only did I minor in Mexican-American Studies but I had enough classes to minor in Women's Studies as well. You can definitely say that I had my awakening in both arenas. What I studied in one discipline, supported the other.
One of my professors said, "You will learn to think critically, you are becoming conscious, and once you are conscious of the world we live in, you can't reverse it." Within my circle of friends, I somewhat became the person that would talk about race, argue about equal rights and immigration, discuss gender equality, and lose my cool when someone called me "Hispanic" when everybody else was just trying to enjoy a bite to eat. The fact of the matter is, I had to learn that you can devote your life to a certain discipline that NO ONE CARES ABOUT. So when you find someone you can vibe and talk with about the issues that matter to you, it's a special connection. This connection was one of the strongest connections I felt when I first met my husband.
I remember at a certain age I realized that there was definitely an intersection between class, race, and sex. One time I asked my dad at a fancy restaurant, "Daddy, how come all of the waiters and waitresses are White, but everybody picking up after people and busing tables looks like us?" We were fortunate to go on vacation often and when I was a teenager I thought to myself, "I don't see any male maids, and why do they all speak Spanish?" Going to college only increased this awareness. I ask myself these types of questions every single day and I see the intersection of class, race, and sex in my everyday life, especially in the organization that I currently work for.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the White Man/The Colonizer/The Land Occupier/The Pilgrims/The Government for my problems at least...I believe in hard work, in the right timing, and most importantly, favor from God but I will say that I believe in the White Experience and White Privilege.
I went to the Superior Court today to turn in a ticket that I got signed off and immediately, my mind began to wander. In a line of about 30, I only saw three people that "looked" Caucasian. Who knows what their ancestry was, maybe they were Argentinian, who knows, but the main issue was, 27/30 were identifiable as people of color. My thoughts? If you break a law, you need to have consequences. The reason I got a ticket in the first place was because I was not responsible in purchasing my registration on time. I deserved to get a ticket, I didn't follow the law. But, I don't think it's a coincidence that there were only 3 Caucasian or 3 people with European features in line. I'm not saying that people of color are irresponsible, what I am saying is that sometimes you get pulled over for "Driving while Brown" or "Driving While Black".
I went up to the window to pay and was told, "I'm sorry hun, your ticket isn't in the system yet." I tend to be very forward like my father and I asked, "And that means?" I was told, that I couldn't pay my minor fine due to the fact that the ticket wasn't in the system. I asked if I could mail in my ticket and the lady advised against it, saying that there was a huge potential that the ticket could get lost, my best bet was to come back and pay in person. Ironically, I heard a man a few people ahead of me telling his clerk, "Why can't I pay today? I can't miss any more work. I have the money now." I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, the system is real! Mostly people of color are in here, and on top of that, the system works in a way where they will most likely have to take time OFF of work once again, which is a hassle, to take care of what they need to. What if these people are hourly? What if their boss doesn't give them clearance?" Thankfully enough, I have enough flexibility within my job to take off a few hours here and there to handle my business, but not everyone is in a flexible position like I am.
I left frustrated. And just a heads up, just because I am person of color doesn't mean that I walk around defeated or making excuses for my place in the world, but like I mentioned before, I would be foolish to think that my opinions and thoughts are applicable to every person of color's situation, however, I write to say, never lose your ability to think critically or ask critical questions of our society.
