Profesora Fountain

Her name is Profesora Fountain and I admire her very much. I've been very fortunate to have had the teachers that I've had throughout my 18 years of education (preschool, kindergarten-high school, and when I graduate, I will have spent 5 years in the ivory tower.) Fountain just adds to the list.

She is this beautiful Argentinian woman. Have you ever looked at someone and after they speak Spanish think to yourself, "You speak Spanish?" Well, that's what I thought until I remembered that it isn't uncommon for an Argentinian to have blond hair and blue eyes, Latinos are a spectrum of features.

I went into her office last May, I was looking for a Spanish counselor because I wanted to see if there was any possibility for me to graduate earlier. Having only taken one semester of intermediate Spanish, I expected to be turned down when I asked to take SPAN 160 during the summer, an advanced course. She told me that I would be allowed to take the course, that it would be hard but that I could do it, and that she and other Spanish tutors would be available to help me. When I walked out of her office, she gave me a hug and offered me a huge smile. The class was about Cuban culture through film and every film she turned on either English or Spanish subtitles, offered me supplemental books in Spanish and in English, and was an encouragement to me every step of the way.

I found myself at her office at the beginning of the year, trying to find out when my nearest graduation date would be. She realized that I could graduate this Spring, she signed off all of my papers, responded to every email, and told me that I would be immersed in the language, with no turning back.

Well, I'm taking her class for SPAN 102B, a class about Latino culture since the time of the Olmecs all the way to hoy en dia. We had to turn in the first page of our monografia and I did exceptionally well, she wrote on my paper, "Adelante! Me encanta tu comienzo!" I walked out of class with a smile on my face and then I automatically felt guilty.

Here's why.

I tend to have a low self-esteem when it comes to academia. I do believe that I am a smart person but I've always had a fear of not graduating or failing yet another class at State. I also tend to take praise from my teachers and use it as a reinforcement to assure myself that I am capable, and that's dangerous. The reassurance should Phillipians 4:13 and that the Joy of the Lord is my strength. I've received numerous compliments on my papers throughout my education, one made me cry, one professor pulled me aside and told me that I NEEDED to go to graduate school and that there was no reason as to why I should not go. Often times, because I respect these men and women who praise me, I use their opinions to encourage myself. I am a very honest writer when I do research and often times I incorporate myself and my personal logic and beliefs into my writing, and it's cool that it gets noticed and respected. However, I should be confident enough in myself to go to graduate school without their compliments and opinions. I cannot base my talent and intelligence off of what they think, I need to esteem myself.

Yesterday Profesora stated that due to a complication, another woman will have to take over our class. This made me extremely sad because I adore Profesora Fountain.

She's sweet, educated, and has dedicated her life to her cause and I always respect people like that. Her research has been based on Jose Marti and Cuba, she visits many times throughout the year.

She doesn't exactly know when her last day is, but for the record, I want to say, "Muchisimas gracias por todo, me ha inspirado mucho, ha sido una fuente de animo, y espero que todo vaya bien con usted."